Hello everyone!

Today, I would like to talk about a wonderful organization that is helping end teen dating violence, called One Love Foundation.

In 2010, Yeardley Love was murdered by her ex-boyfriend just weeks before her college graduation from the University of Virginia. It was a senseless and avoidable tragedy. Her ex-boyfriend had shown signs of increasing violence toward Yeardley, which went unnoticed. From this senseless tragedy, One Love Foundation was created by Yeardley’s mother, Sharon Love, and Yeardley’s sister, Lexie.

Teens and young adults are at a greater risk for dating violence than the rest of the population, but until recently there has not been a large focus on this demographic.

One Love Foundation has changed this. They have started a movement. They are not letting Yeardley’s death become just a statistic. They are saving lives in the name of Yeardley by empowering young people. One Love teaches them about healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships through ‘a multi-layered education, awareness and movement-building campaign’.(1)
One Love has been extremely successful in its mission to end dating violence. Many lives have been saved because of this movement.

There are many, many advocates who work to end dating and domestic violence by using their voices. All are inspiring. I try to do my part to end dating violence by speaking to students about healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships.

Sunday night, I spoke to University of North Florida’s Alpha Chi Omega sorority about dating violence. Although I know the sisters have heard the message before, I could in their eyes that my words still affected them. Some have probably experienced dating violence. Others may know someone who has been or is currently in an unhealthy relationship. The education the students receive through programs, such as One Love, will guide them away from abusive relationships.

We can all do our part to end dating violence. Be there for our family and friends. Talk about and exhibit healthy relationships. Remind everyone that abuse is unacceptable. Guide them to someone who can help. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship and need advice on how to help, or if you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out to your local domestic violence organization or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

For more information about One Love Foundation, click here. 

Remember, if we can help just one person, we’ve done our job.

Katelin Maloney

1. https://www.joinonelove.org/one-love-story/

 
 
 
                                                                     Drowning, by Katelin Maloney
 
Rebecca has simple dreams. A promotion. Children. A happy marriage. But can she have it with Mitch?

Though she carefully keeps secrets to guard her safety, her marriage to Mitch, a successful doctor, is brutal, and his abuse is escalating. A promotion at the bank could be the answer to her prayers, but Mitch has different plans for her life.

Ultimately, Rebecca must face her own inner demons before she can act. Will she be able to find her former, stronger self before Mitch destroys her completely?
 
Drowning is vivid portrayal of living in an abusive relationship, learning to love oneself, and allowing others to enter our hearts.  With a surprising twist, this story will captivate readers long after they’ve completed the book.
https://www.amazon.com/Drowning-Katelin-Maloney-ebook/dp/B00Z7KJZK4
 

​Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day is normally a day to celebrate a couple’s love. It is the time that we focus on our significant other and remind ourselves how lucky we are to have them in our live. Sometimes, however, relationships can be unhealthy or even abusive.

I believe a major component of a healthy relationship is respect. It is so important to not only respect your partner, but also to be respected. There are many ways we can show our respect to our partner.
​
This is Dating Violence Awareness Month, so I’m going to focus on teens and young adults and ways they show respect/disrespect.

These are just a few behaviors that can be unhealthy or abusive in a relationship:

Demanding to share social media passwords
Exposing secrets
Talking down to or yelling at
Physically hurting partner
Threatening to leave
Keeping from friends and family members
Making light of issues in the relationship
 
These are red flags that a relationship is abusive or is at least unhealthy. These actions show disrespect to the partner.

When you are celebrating Valentine’s Day, make sure you are in a healthy and happy relationship.

Remember, if we can help just one person, we've done our job.

Katelin Maloney
 
Please note:  If you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out to your local domestic violence organization or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

​Hello,

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. It is so important to shed light on this issue. Abusive relationships can start early. Pre-teens are even acknowledging that there is abuse in their relationships.  Domestic violence is a growing epidemic. If we can educate people when they are young, then we can prevent future instances of domestic violence.

The Teen Power and Control Wheel holds valuable information. Remember, domestic violence is all about gaining power and control over the other person. Abuse isn’t only physical, it can be emotional, sexual, or verbal. This wheel shows the warning signs to look for in a relationship. As you look at each section on the wheel, notice how it deals with gaining control of the other person.

I am currently writing a novel called Denial that deals with teen dating violence. I’ll use Denial to show examples of each type of abuse.

Anger/Emotional Abuse-In Denial, the main character, Ashley, struggles with Troy’s, her boyfriend, put downs, anger outbursts, and guilt trips. He brushes off her concerns of problems within their relationship by making her feel that it is all in her head.

Using Social Status-Troy makes the decisions in the relationship. He decides who they spend time with. Ashley and her best friend, Maria, become distanced by the wedge Troy puts between their friendship.

Intimidation-Troy gains control over Ashley over time. At first their relationship seemed ideal in her eyes. Soon, Troy demands that he get his way, and starts to use physical control by grabbing her arm and pushing her.

Minimize/Deny/Blame-This is a favorite tactic by an abuser. Noting is ever his or her fault. Troy will dismiss Ashley’s concerns about their relationship by making her feel that she is making a big deal about nothing. He tells her the issues are her fault, using her depression as a reason why she feels the way she does.

Threats-Another common way abusers control their victim is by threatening them. They could threaten to do the other harm, threaten to leave, or threaten to commit suicide, all in the effort to control the other person. Troy makes threats throughout Denial, including threatening to ruin her reputation.

Sexual coercion-This type of abuse involves either manipulating or forcing the victim to have sex or getting the victim pregnant. Also, someone who is drunk cannot consent to have sex, and if the abuser gets the victim drunk and has sex, this is rape. In Denial, we see signs of sexual assault.

Isolation/Exclusion- Early in Denial, Troy isolates Ashley from her friends. This is a classic abuse tactic. He makes it almost impossible for her to even talk to other students, especially males, because he claims to get jealous. He isolates Ashley and cuts her off from her support system.

Peer Pressure-Threatening to keep someone in a relationship or to return to the relationship through threats to expose or lie is abusive. Troy spreads rumors about Ashley and tells her that he will stop if she will take him back.

These tactics are manipulative and controlling and all are red flags in a relationship. These signs can relate to any age group, but are more specific to teens. Anyone experiencing these signs could be in an abusive relationship.

If you are aware of these signs, you will be able to see when an abusive relationship exists, whether it is your own or a family member or friend. Please seek help from a domestic violence organization or a school counselor. If you are a victim, reach out for help. It is available. If you are a bystander, you can guide the abused to the right people to talk to. You might save a life.

I hope the signs of an abusive relationship are more clear now. The perpetrator can be very good at covering his/her abusive tactics, but knowing these signs will help you to recognize the abuse.

Remember, if we can help just one person, we’ve done our job.
​
Take care,
Katelin Maloney

​www.purpleribbonpublishing.com
 
Please note:  If you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out to your local domestic violence organization or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Hello Everyone!

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Teen dating violence is a growing epidemic. Do you know a young adult, teenager, or tween? Did you know these startling statistics?

     Among female victims of intimate partner violence, 94% of those age 16-19 and 70% of those age 20-24 were victimized by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend. (1)
 
       Nearly half (43%) of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors. (2) 

      Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse. (3) 

     Though 82% of parents feel confident that they could recognize the signs if their child was experiencing dating abuse, a majority of parents (58%) could not correctly identify all the warning signs of abuse. (4)
 
Our teens and young adults are being abused. It is known that victims of abuse are more prone to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, trouble sleeping, eating problems, further domestic violence relationships, and many more problems.

What are some early warning signs that could help tell that your daughter or son might be in an abusive relationship?

Early warning signs include the following:  Is their date jealous? Do they text constantly wanting to know about your son’s or daughter’s whereabouts? Abusers will isolate them from friends and family, be unpredictable in their mood, manipulate or make them feel guilty, and treat them with disrespect. These abusive traits can escalate to physical abuse.

What can we do about this? Talk about it. Be aware. Talk to both girls and boys about healthy relationships and dating abuse. Watch for early warning signs. Talk about respect—respecting oneself and other people.

Here are a few websites to visit to learn more about Teen Dating Violence:

www.loveisrespect.org
www.breakthecycle.org
www.teendvmonth.org

Let’s try to break the cycle of abuse by starting with our children.

Remember, if we can help just one person, we’ve done our job.

Katelin Maloney
 

Please note:  If you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out to your local domestic violence organization or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
 
1) Callie Marie Rennison, Ph.D., Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, “Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99” (2001). Available at: http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/ipva99.pdf

2) Fifth & Pacific Companies, Inc. (Formerly: Liz Claiborne, Inc.), Conducted by Knowledge Networks, (December 2010). “College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” Available at: https://www.breakthecycle.org/surveys.

3) Liz Claiborne Inc., conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, (February 2005)
​
4) Fifth & Pacific Companies, Inc. (Liz Claiborne, Inc.), Conducted by Teen Research Unlimited, (May 2009). “Troubled Economy Linked to High Levels of Teen Dating Violence & Abuse Survey 2009,” Available at: https://www.breakthecycle.org/surveys.